Lonely
by snarkysweetness
Summary: Harry and Ginny both cope with the ghosts of their pasts.


**Title: **Lonely**  
Author: **snarkysweetness**  
Characters/Pairings: **Harry/Ginny**  
Rating: **NC-17 **  
Warnings: **Non-graphic, yet hot smut, super mega foxy angst**  
When: **Sometime Post-Dh**  
Summary:** Harry and Ginny both cope with the ghosts of their pasts. **  
Disclaimer: **Jo owns.I play. Song is also not mine.**  
Author's Note:** This was written for hp_smutday for week #19 with the self made prompts of 'Cure My Loneliness' and 'Lay Me Down' by The Wreckers and for the_playwitch July Wizard Harry Potter. Thank you to tangograce for the beta and for seeing the beauty that is meant to be conveyed here. I'm quite pleased with this, which is rare, so thoughts would be love.

_You let me in  
'Cause after all  
It seemed like the right thing to do_

Stepping aside, he watches her as she slips on by him, without even a word. It's always the same. They don't speak of it. Words would somehow make everything a reality. Make them remember. Make them feel.

Instead they speak only in desperate actions, each one longing for something. Something to do. Something to feel. Something to love.

Anything but the constant pain that has consumed their lives for so long.

_I closed my eyes  
And let you fall  
I wonder what you could possibly know  
About breaking down that I don't_

Pushing aside a stray strand of her auburn locks, he looks down at her. She is still a thing of beauty. She's never been entirely whole, having never recovered from the broken mess that Tom Riddle left for him, but he's always loved her that way. Though, in the years that have passed, the broken fragments have multiplied leaving almost nothing of the girl he first fell in love with.

He isn't sure what he misses more, the joy she gave him or the hope that she once inspired.

One of them needed to break this unhealthy cycle of theirs. Perhaps being forced to confront their flaws they could save one another, but Harry is far too much of a coward, so instead he continues to study her, keeping inside all of the words he can't bring himself to say.

That's when her eyes meet his and something changes. The thick wall she's kept in place since Fred's death falls and before he can explain what's happening, she is sobbing in his arms.

_I hear you say  
It's not the same  
I'm sorry  
It's something I just can't explain_

"Ginny, this has to stop. I can't…I miss you."

He can't manage much more. He's afraid of making her cry even more, but watching her break down after so long gives him courage. Perhaps it's time to move on, to heal, to forget. And who better to do it with than Ginny?

She pulls away from him with the speed of a seeker.

"I'm sorry I can't be perfect like Hermione, Harry. That I can't forget as easily as everyone else. That I'm broken."

"Ginny, I didn't-"

"I know there's something wrong with me. There are things that Riddle-"

"I know, Ginny."

Riddle had ruined her and no matter how hard Ginny had worked to get through it, losing Fred and Tonks and everyone else had made her lose whatever grip she'd had left. He knew this. Yes, he was daft, but he understood. But it didn't change the fact that it was time for them both to move on.

She bit her lip, tears coming back into her eyes.

"I see them, every night. Except when I'm-"

"With me?"

She nodded.

He pulled her closer, running a hand through her hair.

"Ginny, I love you."

As if saying it would fix everything. Perhaps he was more daft than he assumed.

"I know."

She pulled away, looking at him. Her eyes told him that she loved him, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

So he did all that he could think to do; he kissed her.

_So shut your mouth  
And hold me close  
We both know  
It's better than being alone  
_  
Harry runs his hands slowly down her back, his lips pressing over a small scar on her flesh. A sigh escapes her lips as her fingers search for something to grasp onto. Their lovemaking hasn't been this careful since Hogwarts. They are both used to it being about speed and need and curing their loneliness; not about taking their time and having it mean something.

He wants this to last, so he keeps his lips and hands occupied with every inch of her body, until neither one of them can stand it.

Locking eyes with her, Harry waits until she gives him a small, consenting nod before pushing himself into her and letting out a breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding.

He didn't last very long, but he didn't care. He'd have a lifetime to make up for it.

Tonight was all about making things right and living for something more than coping.

Things were going to be different from now on. Better. He was going to make sure of it. Starting with helping Ginny get through her inner demons, which was what he should have been doing from the beginning.

Tonight he started being a man.


End file.
